The Retarded People FAQ
Do all retarded people wear sweat pants?
Sweat Pants or Track Pants, yes. It should be noted that although all retards wear sweats, not all wearers of sweat pants are retards. Many athletes are fond of them as well.
Is it ok to call them 'retards'? Is that insensitive?
Yes it is. But seriously, they too dumb to know what you callin' them. You could say "Hey Monkey Brains, what's goin' on?" and they still just be drooling on themselves. A mistake many people make is to worry about what the nearby caregiver, who may be rather attractive, might think. But you need to more closely examine this possibility. Do you really want to be saddled with someone that hangs out with retards? So don't you be worried about what you call those drool bags.
Why is it that some male retards seem to 'adjust' themselves quite frequently?
Let's put this more bluntly: They is constantly fiddlin' with their bits and pieces in public. Truthfully, all guys would love to be doing this and the retards have shown an uncharacteristic savvy in these matters. The retards know they should keep their hands out of their pockets but have instead taken advantage of people's dumbass "forgiving nature" to do what they feel like. Maybe those retards ain't so dumb after all.
Is being retarded contagious?
Yes. Do not touch any of the retards or their handlers.
Is it true retards always take public transportation?
No. Although it may often seem that way, in actuality the worst of the retards are boxed up and shipped in special vehicles. So although it may seem that the system is forcing these hideous cripples down your throat, you are actually being sheltered from the most malformed and incontinent of the bunch.
What's with Velcro™?
What acute eyesight you must have. Yes, all retards wear Velcro™ shoes. At one point Velcro™ had considered using "Timmy the Retard" as their mascot but scuttled the plan after twenty-one straight hours of trying to get Timmy to memorize his lines. A retard can also be recognized by his over-dependence on toques and mittens
This FAQ is getting a little disturbing, why are you picking on the Mentally Challenged?
Well basically, they is dumber and less able to defend themselves than me. I mean what would you have me do? Pick on a more athletic demographic that has spent the last eight and a half months working out and shootin' the juice into they arms? No thanks. I prefer those that begin crying if I steal their rock collection or jiggle my arms menacingly