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Dream Stealers Like Me

Summer Blog Challenge
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A few days ago Shaun posted something about dream stealers and like a lot of Shaun’s recent activity it really got me thinking.  Chad already wrote a great follow up that in many way said everything I’d want to.  This is my second attempt to put my thoughts to words because I’m not entirely sure... oh hell, Jimbo, just start typing:

I worry about the Guthries.  They’ve joined the cult of Amway and Shaun’s blog is occasionally incomprehensible without a glossary. In childhood my mom went in for a lot of make money at home schemes and I vividly recall the financial outcomes of all of it.  She still goes in for questionable business schemes now and again and the outcomes, to the best of my knowledge, have never been financially rewarding.  I worry so much about Shaun and Lindsay.  Are they’re headed down a rather thorny path built to look attractive but perhaps less prosperous than the motivational seminars claim?  I believe in the dictionary of terms, I’m part of Camp Comfortable, in league with the Dream Stealers.  I will most certainly not be making Double Eagle unless I make my own costume.

Simon Cowell gives a thumbs down
Dream Stealer

Expeditions of Truth also contains some occasionally brilliant stuff.  His blog is one that has friends saying to one another in meat-space “OMG, did you *see* Shaun’s latest post?”  The man can generate buzz.  Exactly such a conversation occurred last Sunday.  I hadn’t read about the dream stealers so I whipped out my phone to read it, preparing to shake my head in bewilderment, when a funny thing happened.  I totally got every word Shaun was saying.  I empathized with his plight because I vividly recalled dreams that I allowed to be stolen away by other people’s negativity.  Feelings of White represents a dream of mine that I have had to fight to keep alive.  Tammy, in another reaction to Shaun’s post (see what I mean about buzz?), described my current dream as “cooking better food and contributing to his families health” which is spot on.  Many days I want to give it all up and then I think of my son and I realize I must keep trying.  Plenty of haters hatin’ on that dream but I’m still plunging away. 

Chad already touched on a flaw in in the everyone’s a dream stealer approach.  If by definition anyone who suggests you are on the wrong path is a dream stealer to be ignored, then you have closed yourself to rational discourse.  If the only people you associate with are other people “in” the business then that is what will seem normal, whether it’s deeply unhealthy or the best thing in the world.  Shaun: I worry you won’t be my friend any more because I don’t fit your definition of a successful person or because I don’t want to buy XS Energy Drink. This is the fear in my heart when I think about direct selling.

The Hamburgler looking you square in the eye
Dream Stealer

But also Shaun: I want you to pursue your goals to the fullest.  Drink all the Kool-Aid and make some of your own.  Two years ago I was so crazy focused on my website I began viewing every email and every conversation as an opportunity to get people to check out my blog.  I spent every bit of spare time working on content, including the outline of a novel and the first two chapters.  I don’t regret it; I’m proud of the focus I had and everything I learned and created.  Anyone who told me I shouldn’t’ve let my dreams absorb so much time would be politely ignored.  It’s not the only time in my life I’ve been so focused, I have similar feelings today.  Looking back I never remember the hard work or sacrifices, I observe the results in bewilderment and wonder who did this? who was the person I became that accomplished all of this?  Maybe the person I became was Shaun.  Shaun’s blog is a little crazy and more than a little interesting because it’s represents a tiny fraction of the overall man Shaun is.  It’s the fraction that’s getting shit done.  It’s passion.  I can’t stop reading because I want to know what the hell he’s going to say next (even if I disagree).  His writing has a naked honesty that I very much respect as he shows you how he thinks about his goals.

A few months (Janine’s birthday) I was talking about my lack of writing progress and Shaun quietly interjected “Have you made it part of your daily routine?” or something along those lines.  It stopped me cold because I knew he was right.  Shaun’s all up in the motivational stuff and the building your dreams and then actually making that airy fairy shit a concrete reality.  He’s making his dreams happen.  When I accepted this summer blog challenge look what happened: I’m writing. Every day. Trying my damndest to reorder my life so it’s part of my routine. Ahhh… the power of routine.  I was bitching about dreams and The Guth quietly showed me the errors of my way by just living his life and being an example of a better way. 

A mean man steals candy from a crying baby
Dream Stealer

I think Shaun will keep being my friend which is a good thing.  He is an example of awesomeness.  The path he’s chosen will likely continue to give me trepidation but life isn’t about everyone being the same.  He plans to move to B.C. and then maybe I’ll never see him again.  I worried the same about Vlad when he moved to Mississauga, or my brother when he moved to Calgary, or the Andersons when they moved to Chicago.  I still see all of them.  Following your dreams means leaving some things behind.  I don’t ever see Sam anymore (the best man from my wedding) despite the fact that he’s in the same city and that makes me sad.  What makes it more palatable is knowing that he is pursuing his dream to the fullest (he’s a drug addictions counsellor).  Love those you can, while you can.

Ideas and dreams can be fragile little things that require privacy or protection from the outside world until they’re strong enough to survive on their own.  Turning dreams into reality inevitably pushes other parts of your life to the side as you make room for the new thing.  Is that change good or bad?  You’ll never know unless to make a go at it.

image
Dream Stealer

I once wanted to quit everything and go work with growing green things and I let that dream be stolen from me.  My life continued on as usual.  It makes me a little sad that I didn’t even pursue it.

I once wanted to quit everything and go be a truck driver and I did that.  I thought I was going crazy and so did many other people, parents included, but I did it anyway.  Six days a week I was not in the city and I ate hamburgers out of convenience stores.  It was a fucking awesome once in a lifetime experience and it gives me inner strength to this day.  

Shaun: Don’t let anyone steal your dreams.  Even me.

2010 Aug 11 9:20 am; Filed under the void .
« Good Goddamn, Harmony’s Z-Wave Sucks Donkey Ass « before «
» after » Steamed Salmon with Tomato Basil Couscous »
  • http://expeditionoftruths.com/2010/08/11/what-will-people-think/ Expedition of Truths » What Will People Think?

    [...] afternoon I read an interesting blog post by one of my friends James @ Feelings of White and it got me thinking about what I was feeling before this Summer Blog Challenge and putting my [...]

  • http://expeditionoftruths.com/ Shaun

    James great post, it evoked a few emotions out of me all within one blog post. Well done.
    First I’ll start off by saying you don’t have to worry about The Guthrie’s, we are doing pretty darn good and have made some pretty positive changes I feel in the last 9 months that have moved us forward in areas of finance, marriage, and self-improvement. I think most of those things would have never changed without changing our association. Now don’t get me wrong that doesn’t mean cutting and leaving everyone behind. Friends are important to me and while we don’t all hang out as much as we used to, we still do on the occasion and we will never just cut ties.

    I think the whole “Amway’s a Cult” is a bit much but to each their own. I think people who know me best would know I don’t just blindly follow stuff and I make sure what I’m getting into is good for me and my family. That’s all I’ll say about that. We definitely are not in any get rich quick or home money making schemes. This is probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do and we don’t profess it to be quick work. If someone saw exactly what we did (instead of what they think we do) I think they’d honestly be shocked. I’ve mentioned before that I’ve “seen something” like this before and some guy from Amway tried to get me signed up into his thing 11 years ago, WHICH is why when Lindsay told me she wanted to do this I said ABSOLUTLY NOT! But I did my research as I did and read all the same things you’ve all read on the internet and formed my own opinion and followed it. So that’s where we are and why we don’t build an “AWMAY” business, we build our business and that’s Outright Life.

    You will always be my friend and nobody ever said you had to buy my stuff LOL, nobody HAS TO. That has no bearing on being a friend or not. Also everyone is successful in their own way and we respect that and by no means hold that over anyway. So your friendship is not in jeopardy 
    I’m glad I was able to inspire you to write a bit more through this challenge. It’s awesome to read the new posts each and every day and to be honest it’s awesome to read the posts from everyone in this challenge. Writing is such a great way to express what is going on in people’s heads and while I cannot see everyone all the time it’s great to read what you guys are up to.
    Keep up the great entries and I’ll try to keep my blogs less cryptic so you don’t need the glossary.

  • http://feelingsofwhite.com James

    It was hard to write and I don't know that the end result necessarily matched my intentions, but I really really tried. I tried to label some things as my fears, or my worries, because I know that's what they are. My childhood experiences have definitely colored my reactions to certain business models. I think you and Lindsay have absolutely approached your business with a lot of integrity. Unlike some people I've watched go down the path you are on, you have not tried to corrupt friendships, you remain a genuine and awesome guy. I was even trying to get at it in the post, that when I pimp my own blog, it's the same thing. Why shouldn't friend support friends. Whether that's convincing a friend to visit my website or buying Guthrie cleaning supplies.

    I'm glad our friendship is not in jeopardy because I didn't really think it was.. it's just my fears. I chose to put those fears into my blog post because it scared me. It scared me to admit all that. And something that's been working for me lately is that if something scares me, do it. It's probably the right thing to do. Be fearless, eh?

    To be 100% frank, you have been making me think a lot lately, whether you know it or not. I suppose after this post, now you do. I wanted to give credit where credit is due, because I'm learning from you. It's not always easy, and more often than not I can't put my thoughts into words, I just know that something about your choices in life have challenged me. Provoked thought. And somewhere in all that maybe I'll learn something. Whether that's about me, about you, about life, about business, motivation, success, thorny paths, I dunno.

    I know you and Lindsay have not embarked on a get rich scheme... you're working far to hard for it to be quick. I respect what you guys are doing and can see it's brought you guys a lot of positive things, both financially and personally. Keep writing and I'll keep reading :)

    Oh, and as for someone who's changed associates many times, I can totally respect that too. I don't hang out with meth smokers any more for a reason. And long ago realized the value of associating myself with people who's company I enjoy, who's personalities I admire, versus people who I just feel obligated to be around. Meeting new people is awesome. There are so many human beings on this planet and you can learn from all of them. Then it's fun to hang around old friends and share what you've learned, whether at Christmas, or in the blogosphere.

  • http://expeditionoftruths.com/ Shaun

    I think the blog post was perfect James. Was a true reflection of who you are and I wouldn't want you to just make something up. You certainly broke through that wall of fear by posting this blog if that's what it felt like for you and I respect that. I can respect people who challenge themselves beyond their comfort level.

    Look forward to when we can share a meal ;) do let us know and we will for sure make the nights we can!

  • http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff

    Great post, James. And one that I maybe could have written something similar too (though mine would probably feature fewer sensible bits and more f-bombs), since I sometimes have a lot of the same fears pop up when I'm checking out what's up with the Guthries.

    It isn't that what he's saying is horrible or anything (though seriously, thank you for dropping the inundation of amazing). It isn't even that the realistic part of my brain is REALLY worried that Shaun's just going to pull a "That's it, fuck y'all, if you ain't down with Amway you ain't down with me." and vanish in to a cloud of dust. But there's always that nagging little voice in there...I don't even know why half the time, but it's there.

  • http://expeditionoftruths.com Shaun

    haha, I think it's those "That's it, fuck y'all" people that go off the deep end to be honest. I think we've had a pretty healthy balance so far and sure sometimes will be busier than others but we will never ever say that as you say.

    Do appreciate all the concerns though, will just use that as a sorta good negative motivator for us. Kinda like you'll see but in a good way.

  • http://www.peerpressureworks.com Cliff

    You have definitely had a healthy balance, Shaun...you've been able to make this big changes in your life without turning in to some sort of completely different, monstrous person. And that's awesome.

    These are the kinds of stupid fears that I quite LIKE being shown to have been pointless and wrong.

  • Qikdraw

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCebAa9qKz8

  • http://feelingsofwhite.com James

    nice :P LOL

  • http://feelingsofwhite.com James

    We will definitely do that. :) Food tastes good. MMmmmmm.... foooood

  • http://expeditionoftruths.com/2010/08/26/random-thoughts/ Expedition of Truths » Random Thoughts

    [...] entry by James where he gave some thoughts into what we are doing. You can find that blog entry here.  It was provoked by my Dream Stealers blog entry.  However after exposing my blog to [...]

  • http://feelingsofwhite.com/2008/08/lost-in-the-epilogue/ Nothing found for 2008 08 Lost-in-the-epilogue

    [...] Dream Stealers Like Me [...]

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